


Moons of Honey

by amythis



Category: Mork & Mindy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-28 02:32:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8427859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amythis/pseuds/amythis
Summary: Mork and Mindy on their wedding night.





	1. Chapter 1

Mindy had always heard that there was a period of adjustment in marriage. This was only her first night as a married woman but she was dealing with things she had never had to deal with before in her three-year-long relationship with Mork.

To begin with, she was on Ork. It was a strange, beautiful planet, with three moons. And she was treated like an alien, because that was what she was. All this time, trying to hide Mork's identity from almost everyone they knew, even her stepmother, and yet the moment she stepped onto Ork, everyone knew who she was, what she was.

She wasn't just an Earthling. She was a bride, in a place where marriage had been outlawed. And that felt funny, too, considering that on Earth there were still people who believed that a man and a woman shouldn't live together outside of marriage. It was like her whole life had been turned upside-down.

It was a time of adjustment for Mork, too. He'd been looking forward to their "moon of honey," without really understanding the Earth traditions. When he'd first arrived on her planet, he knew vaguely that mating was something Earthlings did, not just humans but creatures of all sorts. In the early days, he asked if he could mate with her so he could report about it to Orson. She'd told him that it was something special that she wanted to save for a serious relationship, like marriage.

When he proposed to her, she'd been in shock at first. Yes, they loved each other, but she'd never really imagined them getting married. As her father and grandmother pointed out to her a few minutes later, there were two big barriers to such a "mixed marriage." One was that Mork was aging backwards. In ten years, he'd be a teenager, in twenty a little kid, while she'd be approaching and then entering middle age. In thirty, Mork would be gone and Mindy would be alone. The other barrier was that they probably wouldn't be able to have children, and Mindy did want a family someday.

Still, when Mork said he couldn't stay there if she wouldn't marry him, she decided to put aside her concerns and say yes. At least they could be happy together for a few years, and who knew what the future held? It would be better than being alone now, losing the person she loved most in the world, in any world.

The wedding was soon after the proposal, since she wanted something small and simple. She couldn't bring herself to ask Mork if they were even physically compatible. She supposed she'd find out on the honeymoon. If they weren't, well, there were still other things they could do in bed.

Her father gave her a marriage manual to give to Mork. He said, "I probably should give him the father-son talk, since his father was an eye-dropper, but I just don't think I can."

She nodded and thanked him. She hoped it wouldn't be necessary. Hopefully Mork would've picked up enough knowledge to have the general idea of sex. But that was before he put on the chicken mask and feet. So she handed him the book.

At first he was amused, and then frightened. She tried to be patient with him. She was a virgin but he was even more innocent. And she still didn't know if sex would even work for them. But she didn't want their honeymoon to be ruined.

She found him in the rose garden outside the hotel and was touched that he'd been sending seeds back to Ork so they could see something beautiful from Earth. The roses were lovely under the three moons.

She talked to him and convinced him to come back to their room. So he did. And they were in bed again.

"Mind," he said, with the short-I pronunciation of course, "I'm still a little nervous."

"I know, Mork, I am, too. But like I said, this is something that we'll experience together."

He nodded and kissed her.

Afterwards, she said, "You liked it when I taught you to kiss, right?"

"Uh huh, uh huh!"

"Well, I think you'll like this."

Then she nuzzled his neck and he reacted like he usually did, with a big grin. She couldn't help wondering how much he'd respond to more intimate actions, but she didn't want to rush him.

She taught him to neck, which was tricky because she had to not unscrew his ears, or put her fingers in them and accidentally contact Orson. Mork loved necking of course.

Then she moved one of his hands onto her chest. She was in a long modest nightgown, not having wanted to frighten him even more. Still, she could feel his gentle, tentative touch through the cloth.

"Oh, Mind, it squushes!"

She smiled. "Yes."

"Can I try the other one?"

"Go ahead."

So he "squushed" her other breast.

"Would you like to see them?"

"Uh huh, uh huh!"

She smiled and got off the bed so she could stand up and lift off the nightgown more easily. She pulled it over her head, set it on the arm of the couch hanging on the wall, and then shook out her hair. When she looked at Mork, he was gazing at her in wonder.

Mindy had never thought of herself as having an amazing body. She liked her body but she knew that her chest was smaller than the supposed ideal. But the way Mork was looking at her, she might've been Raquel Welch.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured.

"Thank you," she said, coming back to bed in just her panties.

Now as she lay beside him, he stroked her breasts carefully, squeezing them now and then. Sometimes he looked at them and sometimes he looked at her face, seeing what she seemed to like most. And she made little sounds of contentment and gave simple instructions. It might be fun to teach him, although after a certain point they were going to go past the furthest she'd ever gone before. She sort of wished Mork hadn't given the manual to his clone friends to get rid of them.

"What should I do next, Mind?" he whispered.

"You can kiss them."

"Really?" The way he said it, she wasn't sure if he was surprised at her giving permission or at the idea that they could kiss below the neck.

He scooted down the bed and then held one of her breasts carefully in his hand by his mouth. "Mind, what do you call the pink part at the tip?"

"That's a nipple."

"Ah." She was sure he was making a mental note. She tried not to think about whether he was preparing a report for Orson.

Then he kissed the breast, starting in her cleavage and then moving towards the nipple. His lips were as gentle as his hands.

"So soft," he murmured. "Except for the nipple."

She blushed a little. She was starting to feel stirrings within her. Fond as she was of Mork, he'd never actually turned her on before, although she was pretty sure she had turned him on many times, for whatever the Orkan equivalent of arousal was. But now she was experiencing something with him that she hadn't since she met him.

She had dated a little while he was her mostly platonic roommate, but it was never easy. Men didn't understand her relationship with Mork, and it wasn't easy to explain, his place of origin aside. Also, none of the the relationships could compare to what she had with Mork, so she never let it get too physical.

"What else can I do to your chest?" Mork asked in a huskier voice.

"Um, you can suck the breasts."

"Really?" And then he tried it and went from tentative to enthusiastic.

"Oh, Mork!" she cried. "That's so good!"

"Mm hm, mm hm!"

She was just beginning to think that maybe they wouldn't need sex after all, when he stopped sucking the second breast, looked up at her, and asked, "Can I see you naked?"


	2. Chapter 2

Mindy was even softer and more beautiful than he realized. Frightened as he was of mating, he was enjoying these steps along the way to it. He sort of wished they'd started doing this years ago, but he could see why it was that some Earthlings, like Mindy, preferred to save all this for a committed relationship.

He was making mental notes but he wasn't sure how much of this he'd report to Orson. It felt too special and private to share with the big boss. But he did want to know these things so he could better understand and please Mindy. Plus, he was enjoying himself very much and wanted to keep enjoying himself.

Seeing her almost naked made him wonder what she was like under her underwear. He'd flipped through the scary marriage manual very quickly, and he had only a vague idea what a naked woman looked like. Yes, the Earthlings had movies and magazines that showed naked women, but he had been nervous about going into those theaters or buying those magazines, and he could never manage it, not even for a report to Orson.

Even if he had seen naked Earth women before, it wouldn't have been the same as seeing Mindy, the woman he loved, naked. Well, physically, yes. Earthlings reportedly had only two sexes, with some slight variations. But another naked woman wouldn't have had Mindy's kind eyes and warm smile.

She smiled, nervously but still warmly, at his request to see her naked. "Of course, but are you going to take off your clothes soon?"

"Later," he said. He felt self-conscious about his body. He wasn't sure how it would compare to an Earth man's body. It might be very different from what she was used to. He wasn't even sure they were physically compatible, but then he was still a little fuzzy on how mating worked for her people.

"All right." She wriggled out of her underpants while still lying on the bed.

He looked down and could see a small patch of brown fur, darker and curlier than on her head, at the place where her legs met. He knew she shaved her legs and armpits so he was a little surprised to see hair on her. He found it comforting, considering how furry he was. (Furrier than Earth men from what he'd observed on the beach and other places where men showed their chests and legs.

"Can I take a closer look?" he asked.

She smiled and then shyly lay on her back, spreading her legs.

He scooted further down the bed and then gasped. She was like a rose! With no thorns. Just pink petals. "You're so beautiful, Mindy!"

"Thank you, Mork."

"Can I touch you there?"

She nodded.

He reached out and gently stroked between her legs. So soft!

"What is this called?"

"Well, there are lots of terms, but the formal term for the outside is vulva, and the inside is the vagina."

"There's an inside?"

"Oh, Mork," she said in that way she had, where it sounded like she couldn't believe his ignorance sometimes. Not cruelly but a little condescendingly. She was right though. For a superior being, he was ignorant about a lot of things. Luckily, he had her to explain things.

"Can I touch you inside?"

"Yes," she whispered.

So he moved his fingers along the vulva, finding the entrance. And it seemed to open for his touch, like a flower blooming in the sun. He put his forefinger inside her and felt how wet she was in there, getting wetter as he stroked her inside and out simultaneously.

And then his finger got thirsty. It could taste her and she tasted very good. So his finger started drinking the wetness.

"Mork!"

"Sorry, Mindy, I'll try to stop it." He'd have to put mind over finger.

"No, don't stop!"

So he didn't. And she moved against him, thrusting her hips and her bottom, to make him drink more. And she was delicious.

And then he wanted to taste her on his tongue instead, even though his tongue couldn't go as deep. (He suddenly wished he were Gene Simmons.) He moved his hand away and moved his mouth in its place. Yes, his tongue appreciated the taste of her even more than his finger did. And she seemed to like his tongue even more than his finger.

"OH, MORK!"

"Mm hm, mm hm!" was all he could reply.

"Oh, please touch my clitoris!"

He stopped licking and drinking to look up at her and say, "Sure thing. Just one question."

"It's the little knobby part at the top."

He looked around and found it. "Got it. Thanks."

"No, thank you. OH, THANK YOU, MORK!"

He touched her clitoris with one hand while the other went back to her chest and played with her nipples, while his mouth did his best to pleasure her. Her instructions were more incoherent than before, but that seemed to be a good sign. Was it possible that his sensible, level-headed Mindy was going temporarily insane?

It was. But neither of them minded.

And then after awhile she got very quiet and still.

He moved his head back and tilted it to look up at her face. She looked stunned. "Mind, are you all right?"

"Uh huh," she said, definitely dazed.

"What just happened?" There had been extra moisture right before she stopped moving.

"I came," she whispered.

"Where?" She'd been in the room the whole time, he would've sworn to that, unless there had been some distortion of the space-time continuum. Maybe this was what mating was and that was the result.

She stroked his hair. "No, that's Earth slang for having an orgasm."

"What's an orgasm?"

"It's a, well, it's what just happened to me. It's very intense sexual pleasure."

"Ah. Then did we just have sex?"

"We, um, well, it's a type of sex, yes. But not mating."

"I see," Mork said, although he didn't really. "And are orgasms common for Earthlings?"

"It depends. Some women never or hardly ever have them, and some women have lots of them, even in one night."

"In one night?!"

"Yes."

"Wow! What about men? Can Earth men have them or is it just for women?"

"No, men have them. Usually just one or two a day, at most."

"Then why are women considered inferior?"

"Good question."

"So, I mean, I'm not an Earth man, but do you think I could have an orgasm?"

She grinned. "Take off your clothes and let's find out."


	3. Chapter 3

Mork was wearing his red-and-white-striped nightshirt. Mindy didn't know if he had anything on underneath. She was definitely curious about his body now, although he'd proved that he could pleasure her without taking off his clothes.

"All right," he said.

He crawled off the bed and turned his back to her. He looked over his shoulder and sang the stripper tune. She couldn't help giggling, but she was a little giddy after her orgasm. Then he turned to face her and started hiking up his nightshirt, bit by bit, still going "dun dun dun, dun dun dun."

His legs were very hairy, but she knew that. She knew that his arms and his chest were hairy, too. She'd seen bits and pieces of him over the past three years, but nothing more than she would've seen at the beach.

He pulled the nightshirt above his knees and kept going. His thighs were as hairy as his calves.

And then she saw he was wearing funny boxers. But she didn't want to laugh in case they weren't supposed to be funny. Maybe he just wanted to wear smiley faces to be positive about their honeymoon.

And she couldn't help looking to see if, well, there was any evidence that he was built like an Earth man. There was definitely something inside his boxer shorts, but whether it was a phallus as such she couldn't be sure. He wasn't hard, but maybe he felt too self-conscious with the situation. Or maybe Orkan arousal worked differently. She could tell that he'd enjoyed going down on her, but that wouldn't necessarily give him an erection. If Orkans got erections. If they had penises.

Then she was distracted when he revealed his hairy stomach and she saw that he didn't have a navel. She was surprised at first, and then she realized that he would never have been connected to an umbilical cord because his mother was a test tube. Well, that was definitely one difference between them.

He then revealed his hairy chest. And then the nightshirt was over his face, muffling his singing. She took another look at his crotch. She wished he was wearing briefs, but that probably wouldn't be his style.

His head popped out of the nightshirt. "Is this naked enough?"

"It's fine for now," she said with a smile. "Come back to bed and let's cuddle."

"OK." He did so. "Oo, this is nice lying down without clothes."

"Yes, it is. Oh!" She could feel a hardness through his shorts.

"Yes, I have three hearts."

She couldn't remember if she'd known that. And that was amazing of course, but she couldn't concentrate on them, even as she felt them beating against her chest. She was much more aware of whatever was throbbing against her thigh.

"I love you with all of them."

"Oh, Mork!" He was so sweet.

She kissed his mouth and then nuzzled his neck.

"Mmm, Mindy, Mindy!"

"You like that, Mork?"

"Uh huh, uh huh!"

"Will you show me what's inside your shorts?"

"Oh, I think there's just an 'Inspected by #42' label."

"No, I mean can you take them off?"

"OK. But before I do, I just have to warn you, it may not be what you're used to."

"Mork, I've never seen a naked man before. But I know generally what Earth men are supposed to look like."

"That's the thing. You may not be ready for a zlormphoz."

"Um, well, let me the judge of that." Was a zlormphoz the same thing as a penis? Or at least close enough?

"OK." He wriggled out of his shorts. "Pretty bizarre, huh?"

She looked down. Thank goodness! If that wasn't a penis, it sure looked like one. The question was, did it function like one? She said, "No, I think it's very nice-looking. Can you tell me more about it?"

"Oh, well, I was born with it. Many Orkans have them, although not all. You know we have more than one sex, right?"

Did she know that? Mork had said so many things about his planet over the years, some of them contradictory. "Go on."

"I guess that those of us with zlormphozes would be similar to Earth males. We use 'he' and 'him' to refer to them. So it's a gender marker. It also has a funny habit of hardening, like right now."

"I see. What kinds of things make it harden?"

"Well, I've never discussed it with anyone. You know Orkans don't like to dwell on emotions. But it seems to be related to happy thoughts. Well, special kinds of happy thoughts. Um, I've had it harden some nights when I've been thinking of you."

"Really?"

"Yes, like after our first kiss. Even when I tried to repress my emotions, Lust made it harden. Even though I don't fully understand Lust. Is it related to mating?"

"It can be." She kissed his cheek. "Mork, I'm not sure if this is going to work, but I think your zlormphoz—"

"Accent on the second syllable, Mind." He demonstrated.

"Right, sorry. Well, I think it's similar enough to what male humans use for mating, that I think we could mate. Or close to it anyway."

"Sigh of relief, mixed with nervous excitement."

She smiled. "Yes. But let me get something." She went to her suitcase and took out a little box. She brought it back to bed.

"Trojans? Is this a history lesson or a football game?"

"Neither. It's just the name." She opened the box and tore off a condom in its little plastic holder.

"Pooter, I'm not going to have to eat that, am I?"

She smiled. "No, Mork." She tore open the plastic and took out the condom. She stretched it out.

"Water balloons? At a time like this? And you thought my mating rituals were weird!"

"No, it's for your zlormphoz." She tried to pronounce it correctly this time.

He nodded encouragingly. "By George, I think she's got it!" Then he looked puzzled. "Do you inflate it around my zlormphoz?"

"No, you, um. Well, let me make this as pleasant as possible for both of us."

Mork looked intrigued. "How?"

"Well, you know how I've been discouraging you for years from sitting on your face?"

"You want me to sit on my face while you do something with the Trojan?"

"No, I want to sit on your face while I do something with the Trojan."

Mork grinned. "OK!" He lay on his back, his head resting on a pillow.

She lowered herself onto his face, looking towards his zlormphoz. Mork started licking and kissing and eating and drinking her, and it was wonderfully distracting. But she leaned forward and rolled the condom onto his penis equivalent. He definitely liked this, if his murmurs and increased attention to her vulva meant anything.

She did her best to make sure that the condom was rolled all the way down. She wondered if she should explain contraceptives to him. Mork knew that babies were made from mating, but he probably didn't know the details. She did want children with him someday, if it were possible. She'd been willing to give that up, but maybe his zlormphoz could put sperm into her. But she didn't want to rush into parenthood. Marriage was enough of an adjustment.

However, they'd gotten married so quickly that she hadn't been to see her gynecologist since months before Mork's proposal. She planned to schedule an appointment as soon as they returned to Earth. But even if she'd got an appointment the day she accepted the proposal, her doctor probably wouldn't have had time to prescribe and provide a form of contraception. Mindy wasn't sure which kind she wanted, and she hoped to discuss it in detail with her doctor, to make the best informed choice. Meanwhile, all it took to buy condoms was a trip to a drugstore in a neighborhood where no one knew her.

She'd bought them not knowing if they'd be able to use them, not even knowing if Mork could get her pregnant. Better safe than sorry, she figured.

She climbed off of Mork's face, nice as it felt up there. She smiled down at Mork.

Then he said, "Wow, mating is even better than I expected!"


	4. Chapter 4

Mork was surprised when Mindy smiled and said, "No, that still isn't mating."

"Then what is mating? I looked at the pictures pretty quickly."

Blushing a little, she said, "It would be if you put your zlormphoz into my vagina."

"Interesting idea, Mind, but unfortunately my zlormphoz doesn't screw off like my ears."

"No, there's a way that it can go inside while staying connected to you. Well, more than one way."

He raised his eyebrows. "More than one?"

She blushed again. "There are different positions."

"Such as?"

"Well, um. Maybe I should just show you. You stay where you are, lying on your back."

"OK." That sounded easy enough.

She scooted down the bed and then sat on him again, but this time with her vagina slowly descending on his zlormphoz! Even with the balloon-like thing on, he could feel how wet and open she was, and he had just had her on his face, so he knew what she tasted like. Her vagina opened further to take him in but it was still a snug fit. It felt wonderful!

"Oo, Mindy! Is this mating?"

She smiled. "Yes, this is mating. Well, the beginning of it." She carefully rolled her hips, taking in her breath, getting used to it herself. Then she carefully lay on top of him, as if they were snuggling lying down again, but with this piece of him tucked inside of her.

"I love you, Mork," she murmured.

"I love you, Mindy."

Then they kissed and even necked like that. His zlormphoz started flexing itself, like it did when he played with it.

"Oh, sorry."

"No, Mork, it's supposed to do that. We can both move."

So they did. Sometimes alternating and then working together.

They got tired after awhile, and it was tricky because they were both new at this, even if Mindy did know more about the concept. So they took a break and just cuddled, lying side by side.

"Do you like mating so far, Mork?"

"Uh huh, uh huh! Do you like it?"

"Yes, I do. Although I think it'll be awhile till we get experienced enough to get good at it."

"Hey, if this is what being bad at it is like, I'll settle for this for now."

She laughed. "Well, thank you."

"What are the other positions?"

"Well, there is side by side, but I think that's trickier. The most common is the man on top."

"Do I spread my legs?"

"Uh, no." She lay on her back and spread her legs again.

"Do I sit up or lie down?"

"I think it'll be easier if you lie down."

So he did and Mindy helped him insert his zlormphoz back into her, using her hands to position it this time. The mating felt even more intense in this position. The zlormphoz responded by pumping itself into her vagina, which in turn quickly clenched and unclenched around him.

"Am I hurting you, Mindy?" He'd heard vaguely that sometimes mating hurt for the woman, although it obviously could be very pleasurable, too.

"No, it's, it's good!" And then she bent her legs and her knees were on his bottom, as if she wanted him to go faster and deeper. And she said, "Faster! Deeper!"

So he went fast and deep, which she seemed to really like, but she liked it even better when he mixed in shallow and/or slow thrusts.

"Oh, Mork, you're driving me crazy!" she said, not for the first time, although definitely for the first time for this reason.

He felt a little crazy. This was so marvelous, and it was sort of like the time he let all his emotions loose. He definitely was feeling many at once: lust, love, joy, and even a little sadness, because this would change what was between them and he'd loved what they'd had before. But this was a new adventure, and he was glad they were taking it together, even if he didn't know where the journey would end.

But he did arrive, or rather come. She didn't have to tell him when he had an orgasm. There was no mistaking it. It was a cubing of the sensation he had when he played with himself, thinking of her. His brain melted and his zlormphoz pumped the silvery fluid out. (He'd asked Orson about that once, and Orson had said real Orkans didn't play with themselves, unless they were making contributions for the test tube hospital.) Instead of landing in his hand or on his leg, the fluid landed in the balloon. That was very clever of the Earthlings to think of it. Clean-up would be much easier, although Mindy's dampness was leaking onto the bed.

He thought of how he'd been surprised when he first saw her eyes leak. He was unfamiliar with tears then. She'd told him that sometimes Earthlings cried when they were happy, not just sad. He'd learned that was true. His own eyes felt a little leaky now.

He wondered if they had made a baby just now. From what he'd learned and observed, including with Mindy's friend Sally, it took nine months from mating till birth, and the parents wouldn't know about the pregnancy right away. Well, he'd be happy to mate with Mindy as many times as it took to have a baby. And even after they had a baby.

Mindy kissed his cheek. "Are you finished?"

"I think so. My zlormphoz is right now anyway. But it'll be ready again later."

"Good."

"What about your vagina?"

She blushed. "Um, vaginas can keep going, although I'm happy to take a break."

"Maybe you could sit on my face again. My tongue isn't tired."

"Well, if you insist," Mindy said in a way that he could tell that she'd like that.

He had no way of knowing that pregnancy did indeed result on their wedding night, but it was due to his ingesting one of her eggs. He didn't even fully comprehend eggs in that sense. This one went through his finger, his hand, his arm, and down to his stomach, where it lodged behind what would become his navel. It would emerge through his new belly button a month later looking like a chicken egg, shell and all. It would grow to an enormous size and hatch a baby who'd be Orkan enough to age backwards.

In the meantime, Mindy would see her gynecologist, obtain a contraceptive she was comfortable with, and use it in full confidence that she would not get pregnant, unaware of her impending fatherhood.


End file.
